The Beast?! and The Beauty?!
by Travaria
Summary: I'm sure you've read a few *thousand* Beauty and the Beast parodies, but this one is just a bit different. (eventual shounen ai 1+2 3+4)
1. Chapter 1

The Beast? And the Beauty? by Travaria  
  
Part 1  
  
It was a normal town, not too poor, not too rich. Of course there were poor people and rich people, but generally everyone belonged in the middle class. The poor people were your everyday poor people, and the rich were your everyday rich people, except for two small exceptions. The first was from the poor class. He was an orphan, who lived alone and had very little, not all that unusual, but the thing was that he was always so happy despite the fact that he had almost nothing. Now normally if someone was so happy and they were poor then the other people wouldn't like the person, but Duo (for that is the boy's name) was just so cheerful that no one could bring themselves to dislike him, although several people were convinced that he was completely crazy.  
  
On the other hand, we have our other exception, from the rich class this time. Her name is Relena Peacecraft. The thing about Relena is that no one really likes the poor girl, so she withdrew deep into her castle-like home deep in the forest to the south of the town, not speaking to any one besides her brother or any guy who might consider marrying her. Unfortunately the boys always refused her. The constant rejection pushed Relena into doing things that normally she would not do, such as studying the blackest forms of magic.  
  
Her brother, Zechs, on the other hand appeared to be pretty normal. Unlike Relena, everyone liked him. All the girls want him, and all the guys wish that they were him, except for Duo of course, who hated his guts. So naturally Zechs was drawn immediately to Duo, who despised him and Duo did everything in his power to get away from him. Now Zechs only seemed normal, the truth was that he had a secret. The 'chick-magnet' was really, gay, and bent on 'getting' Duo.  
  
"Good morning Duo," the book-shop keeper greeted the hyper boy as he bounced into the store early Monday morning, his chestnut colored braid flapping and his violet-eyes sparkling.  
  
"Morning," Duo chirped. "I finished the book I borrowed. It was excellent. I don't suppose you have anything new? Probably not, but that's okay, I can read something over again if you don't."  
  
"You're right, I don't have anything new, but feel free to borrow something again."  
  
"Thanks!" Duo exclaimed easily picking his favorite book off the shelf. "Well I have to go, see you when I finish it!" With that Duo popped out of the shop and back on to the streets, where Zechs was waiting for him.  
  
"Good morning Duo," Zechs said, with his sexiest grin, his long blonde hair draped around him and his ice-blue eyes gleaming.  
  
"Morning," Duo replied, with a fake smile that threatened to turn into a grimace. "I'd love to stay and talk with you, but I'm in a big hurry." Duo sidestepped the taller youth and attempted to walk past him, but Zechs' arm shot out and grabbed his shoulder.  
  
"No need to hurry so quickly. Why don't you take time off of what ever it is that you are doing to come take a walk with me?"  
  
Duo jerked his arm out of Zechs' grasp. "Because I'm busy," Duo answered while thinking, 'Because you're an ego-centric jerk.' Zechs' hand shot out again, this time grabbing Duo's long braid. Duo halted immediately and spun around. "Would you please remove your hand from my hair," Duo requested, his temper just barely kept in check. Zechs tugged the braid lightly, bringing Duo closer to him.  
  
"Now, now Duo, there is no reason to go on pretending that you don't have feelings for me. You know you want me," Zechs purred leaning toward Duo, who was leaning back in disgust.  
  
"You have got to be kidding me!" Duo exploded, tugging his braid out of Zechs' hand and jumping a good two feet back. "Don't you get it? I hate you, I despise you, I can't stand to be within twenty feet of you!!!! Now go away and leave me alone!!" Zechs frowned.  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?" the blonde man asked coolly.  
  
"Argh! Just leave me alone!" Duo yelled as he stalked off through the streets.  
  
"Perhaps I was wrong about him," Zechs mused, then he gasped. "I know what must be wrong, he must like girls. How could I have been so blind? I know, I'll set him up with my dear sister Relena." With that Zechs headed after the unfortunate boy, intent on dragging him off to see Relena.  
  
******  
  
"I can't believe that guy. As if I would actually like him!" Duo complained to his horse. Duo was grooming the magnificent black mare in a clearing just outside his forest surrounded modest one-room cottage. "He is such an ego-maniac! I don't see how anyone could like him, much less the whole freaking town! If he ever says something like that to me again I think I might throw up!" Duo continued to grumble and act uncharacteristically angry and upset as he worked on the mare, Shinigami. He froze at the sound of footsteps approaching him from behind. 'Please don't let that be who I think it is, please!' Duo begged mentally, not turning around to look.  
  
"Ah, Duo," Zechs panted, it had been a lo~ong trip to Duo's somewhat hidden cottage. "I have found you at last." Duo remained facing away from the mentally unstable man on the off chance that he would leave. "I have realized my mistake in how I dealt with you before. I apologize profusely."  
  
Duo's curiosity got the better of him and he turned toward the other man slightly. 'Could he have actually gotten a clue?' Duo wondered. The blonde guy not only looked serious enough, but he also looked truly sorry, so Duo completed his turn until he was completely facing Zechs. "Thank you for apologizing," Duo said with a slight grin. As soon as he said that Zechs brightened.  
  
"Well, now that we are back on speaking terms, I have a proposition for you," Zechs began, speaking so fast that Duo didn't have a chance to interrupt. "Since it is obvious from your reaction to me that you prefer women, I suggest that you meet my sister. She is a delightful girl, and I'm sure you two will hit it off immediately!" Without waiting for a response or permission Zechs grabbed Duo by the arm and began hauling him toward his house. Duo was so shocked by the abruptness that he hardly even protested, and Zechs ignored the feeble complaints.  
  
******  
  
"Mirror, mirror in my hand, show me the closest hunk on hand," Relena sighed reverently into a beautifully decorated mirror. Now you didn't have to say it, but Relena liked to make up cute poems when she searched for her prey...er, her suitors. The mirror fogged up and then cleared showing a handsome huntsman with brown bangs falling over one of his forest-green eyes. Relena smiled slightly maniacally as she gazed upon him. "He will do." Relena called forth her magic and said, "Huntsman in the forest green, come to me your future queen." Another pointless rhyme, but despite that, and the fact that she wasn't queen or even a princess, the spell quickly went to work and the hunter found himself pulled towards the castle that she lived in.  
  
Relena giggled hysterically and prepared herself to meet him. It wasn't that she actually thought that he would like her, she knew better than that by now, she was actually just planning on having fun with the poor boy, like she had with the Chinese youth. The Chinese youth that was currently a moving talking clock. "Hmm, now what would be a good thing to make my new play-toy. Maybe a candlestick, or a tea-pot, oh or a chair!" Relena exclaimed to herself and once again breaking into slightly deranged giggles.  
  
******  
  
Trowa had been minding his own business. He had only come to the forest to check his traps that was it. The young huntsman sighed. 'Why do these kind of things always happen to me,' Trowa thought gloomily as he stared up at the castle that his body was intent on bringing him to. He knew witchcraft when he saw it.  
  
Of its own accord his body guided him up a huge set of stairs and through an ominous looking pair of gigantic doors. Trowa hardly managed to retain a sigh as he entered the castle; it was obvious that no good could come of this. His suspicions were confirmed when he entered a room that held only a blonde girl who was sitting at a huge empty table smiling maliciously at him.  
  
"Welcome to my humble home," Relena greeted her sweet innocent voice totally clashing with the evil look on her face. "I am Relena Peacecraft, and you are?" Trowa didn't answer; he had a feeling that telling her his name would only make it worse. Relena's eyes darkened. "Well, speak up!"  
  
Trowa felt the pull of the magic once again and found his mouth answering without his consent. "I am Trowa Barton."  
  
"Welcome Trowa. I don't suppose you have a girlfriend, do you?" Relena asked. Trowa struggled to remain quiet, but the spell was still affecting him.  
  
"No. I don't like girls," the green-eyed boy answered. Not only did he have to speak, but he also had to tell the truth. Something flared in Relena's eyes and suddenly Trowa had a bad feeling, a very bad feeling.  
  
"Is that so," Relena replied in a civil tone, from between clenched teeth. "Well then why don't you have a seat." Trowa's body seated itself into a nearby chair. 'Why is it that I always end up with the gay ones!' Relena fumed as she watched the tall slender youth, 'A chair is too good for him, a teapot is too. Candlestick it is.'  
  
Trowa watched slightly disturbed as the girl's eyes lit with unholy glee. He frowned as she began to chant some kind of rhyme under her breath. When Trowa felt the intense build-up of magical energy he attempted to run for it, but her previous spell was still in control of his body, so he was literally stuck to his seat. In a rush he was transformed into a candlestick and was treated to one of Relena's evil laughs.  
  
******  
  
Zechs paused at the door of his castle, the unfortunate Duo still in hand. He felt a little cautious about entering since he could hear his little sister inside laughing. At the sound of the laughter Duo froze, there was no way he wanted to go anywhere near what ever was making the terrible noise, it chilled his blood.  
  
"Now now Duo-chan, do not worry my sister is entirely stable," Zechs said with a slightly nervous chuckle. 'At least I hope she is'.  
  
"No way, I am not going in there!" Duo exclaimed shaking his head. But Zechs used his superior size and weight to propel the braided boy inside the castle.  
  
******  
  
"Oh Wuffie, I have a new friend for you to play with," Relena sang out, looking over her new candlestick with pleasure. A small oriental looking grandfather clock waddled into the room muttering angrily under his breath, he had long since stopped trying to get her to stop calling him that, but that didn't mean he had to like it.  
  
"What do you want onna!" Wufei exclaimed.  
  
"Now, now Wuffie, be nice. I could still have you changed into a wall fixture you know," Relena lectured. "This is Trowa. I want you to be kind to him, as he is the only other walking talking piece of furniture currently in my home. Now both of you leave my chambers!" The candlestick hopped off the chair and out the door, followed by the clock. As soon as the magical door swung shut behind them, Relena burst into tears. "No one will ever love me," the girl sobbed. "I am doomed to live my life alone with only the men I've turned into furniture for company! Life is so cruel to my poor self!"  
  
******  
  
Trowa followed the clock as it waddled down the hall. The acrobat turned candlestick was having a hard time adjusting to the fact that the closest thing he had to legs was a round base. Although he never actually fell, he came pretty close several times and he was having trouble keeping up with Wufei. Once they were a good distance away from the evil creature's presence Trowa decided to get some answers from his companion. "Excuse me, what just happened?" Trowa asked.  
  
"That crazy onna has turned you into a candlestick using the black magic that she has harnessed do to a bewitched rose she keeps in the tower!" Wufei ranted, obviously still angry with her.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"The onna found herself unable to find a man, so she has been taking it out on her latest 'suitors'! Namely you, and me!"  
  
"And who are you?"  
  
"I am Chang Wufei. Welcome Trowa Barton, welcome to hell."  
  
to be continued…. 


	2. Chapter 2

The Beast? And the Beauty? by Travaria  
  
Part 2  
  
  
  
Zechs was having a hard time shoving the braided boy up the stairs to his sister's rooms. Zechs couldn't really understand why he was protesting so much. Probably because Relena's laugh had scared him, but he had nothing to worry about, he would absolutely love Relena. Zechs was positive the two of them would instantly be drawn to one another, even if he had to forcefully drag, push, carry, and shove Duo up the stairs.  
  
Zechs paused in front of the door to her study, keeping a firm grip on the struggling Duo. "Relena-chan, its me your big brother. I have someone I want you to meet," Zechs called through the door, convinced that he had stopped not because it was dangerous to enter unannounced, but that it was rude. The two males heard faint scuffling noises inside and reacted predictably, Zechs smiled slightly since it meant that Relena was preparing for them, and Duo increased his attempts to run for it since it meant that she was preparing for them.  
  
It didn't take long for the doors to swing open, completely on their own. Duo gawked at the doors, their mysterious opening making him forget the danger he was in. Zechs took advantage of his distraction to drag the braided one in. Relena seemed slightly ruffled but for the most part she looked almost normal. Zechs sighed in relief, he had almost been afraid that she had attacked another poor boy. "Sister dearest, I would like you to meet Duo, from the village," Zechs said, shoving the boy (who was still entranced by the doors) forward towards Relena. "Greet the lady Duo."  
  
Duo snapped out of his daze, focusing on the deceptively sweet looking girl seated at the other end of the table.  
  
"Oh, umm. It's nice to meet you ojosan, my name is Duo," Duo greeted with a charming smile.  
  
'He's smiling at me, this could be the one,' Relena thought with excitement. "It is nice to meet you as well Duo, I am Relena." Relena smiled back at the charming American. Zechs too smiled, the two teenagers were getting along beautifully, and it was time for him to make himself scarce.  
  
"Well, I must be going, I hope you two will enjoy yourselves," Zechs bowed slightly leaving out the still open doors. The enchanted doors slammed shut behind him, and suddenly Duo realized that he was trapped all alone with Relena.  
  
******  
  
Wufei and Trowa were heading back towards Relena's study, although Trowa wasn't sure why, he was just following Wufei since he had nothing better to do. They had been walking the other way when Wufei had apparently heard something and changed his course. Trowa was once again having a hard time keeping up; he didn't even have separate legs anymore. "Excuse me, Wufei. What are we doing?" Trowa finally asked as they reached the door to Relena's room.  
  
"I think that the onna has another person in there, I'm going to warn them," Wufei replied. "Now help me with the door."  
  
******  
  
"So Duo," Relena began, "What are some interests of yours."  
  
Duo had the sudden urge to say something like, Well I do enjoy a good bombing now and then, oh yes, and I do so love going to the local bar and getting rip-roaring drunk, but he managed to restrain himself as it didn't seem like the best idea considering the circumstances. "Well I like to read," the braided boy finally stuttered out.  
  
'Oh my God he's perfect,' Relena thought. "Really? I also enjoy reading a great deal," Relena replied smiling sweetly. Duo managed a weak grin back. "What else."  
  
"Well I like to spend time with my horse, Shinigami," Duo added. Relena's smile faltered slightly.  
  
'An animal lover, ugh. But I'm sure I'll be able to break him of that disgusting habit, in time,' Relena mused. "That's nice, dear," Relena responded in a politely disgusted tone. Duo's eyes bugged out at the word 'dear'.  
  
"What do you mean 'dear'?" Duo asked uncomfortably.  
  
"Well, if you are going to be my boyfriend you need to get used to my calling you dear, dear," Relena answered an angelic look on her face. Duo almost had a heart attack, and he did fall out of his chair. Duo lay on the ground unable to move the shock was far too great. "Are you alright dear?"  
  
"Boyfriend," Duo choked out as he pulled himself off the floor using the table for leverage. Before Duo could say anymore though, the door behind Relena exploded open and a small clock and an antique candlestick tumbled in. Duo blinked in confusion, this was such a weird house. Then the clock started talking and Duo's eyes bugged out, and he fell from his tentative perch on the table to floor.  
  
"Onna! How dare you attempt to trap this boy! Run fool, get out of here!" Wufei shouted, alternating between ranting at Relena and warning Duo. "Onna, you are crazy, you need mental help. Get out of here boy, while you still have the chance!"  
  
Relena whirled around to face the clock, glaring murderously. "I believe I mentioned something about a wall fixture! I'm beginning to think that that is too good for you! You worthless piece of antique junk!" Relena yelled at the clock, clearly furious.  
  
"I wouldn't be antique junk if it weren't for you! You psychopath!" Wufei screeched. While the two of them exchanged insults the candlestick hopped over to the collapsed Duo. Duo looked at the candlestick that was obviously looking at him.  
  
"What's going on?" Duo whispered, hoping not to catch the attention of the fighting girl and clock.  
  
"Relena has turned both Wufei and me into common household objects. Wufei is attempting to warn you so that the same might not happen to you," Trowa responded mechanically, still not quite adjusted to the fact that he was a candlestick. Duo was once again overcome by shock, but that quickly passed, and he was left with an intense anger at the psychotic woman.  
  
The braided boy rose to his feet, and Trowa sincerely hoped that he was going to run for, but somehow the boy turned candlestick doubted it. Duo's eyes were darkened by fury, and his entire body radiated with angry energy. A low growl escaped his throat and he glared at Relena who was currently attempting to throttle the Wu-clock. "You," Duo snarled, Relena spun to face him, still holding Wufei. "How dare you! No one deserves to suffer what you have done to those two!" Relena's mouth gaped open, and Wufei looked as shocked as an oriental-clock boy could.  
  
"Duo dear, if your going to be my boyfriend your going to have to support me and take my side, not theirs," Relena finally said in a sugary tone. At this statement Duo burst into laughter.  
  
"As if I ever wanted to be your boyfriend! I especially don't want to now that I know that you turn people in to furniture!! You are a complete psycho and I don't want anything to do with you! Much less to be your boyfriend!" Relena turned an unflattering shade of lobster red, and hurled the Wu-clock at the wall (luckily he didn't break).  
  
"How dare you say that to me!" Relena ground out between clenched teeth. Duos took a good look at Relena's face and saw the fury, resentment, and sorrow in it. Relena stood trembling in anger and resentment for a few moments before she collapsed on the floor crying. Duo looked down on her, still considerably angry, but also sorry for hurting her; sometimes he was just too caring when it came to others. Duo sighed and sank to his knees next to the sobbing girl, Trowa and Wufei watched in shock.  
  
"Now stop that," Duo said. Firm, but not overly unkind. Relena looked at him, rage and sorrow each vying for the position of her main expression. "I realize that some of what I said was not called for, but neither is turning people into clocks and candlesticks because they don't fall in love with you." Duo's voice was harsh with the truth, yet it retained a detached almost kindness. Relena listened to him; it had been so long since she had actually listened to someone. "Now, I think the best course of action, for all of us, would be for you to turn the candlestick and the clock back into humans and let us all go. Then you can look for a boyfriend, but for Shinigami's sake take it slow girl. Get to know the person you want and let him get to know you before you make any long term plans. Alright?"  
  
Relena looked at the braided boy for several long seconds before she rose to her feet. Duo rose as well. 'He has a point, perhaps I do need to take it slower next time,' Relena mused. 'But that doesn't mean that he or the others are off the hook for what they did to me!' "I see the wisdom in your words," Relena began. "But that does not compensate for what you have said and done to me! For this you too must be punished, but not in the same way. I may have a use for you!" Duo stared at the girl incredulously; he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Relena began chanting under her breath and Duo backed away afraid of what she might do to him.  
  
Before Duo had gotten more than three steps away, there was a bright flash, which blinded everyone for several seconds. Duo felt a strange feeling, like his body was changing. Once he regained his sight, he glanced down at his hands, which had been turned into paws. His arms, his legs, his face, his entire body was covered with fur the same color as his hair, which still draped down his back in its customary braid. Duo had been turned into a beast. Duo stared at himself, them looked angrily at Relena, ready to snap her neck, unfortunately she was probably the only person who could reverse the spell. "What have you done to me!" Duo growled his voice deeper and harsher in this new form.  
  
Relena smiled triumphantly. "I have turned you into a beast," Relena stated her voice insufferably smug. "You are going to make sure that someone falls in love with me. Once the man I choose falls in love with me, you and the others will return to your natural forms. If I die or no one falls in love with me, you shall remain like that for the rest of your pathetic lives!" Duo glared at her, too angry for words.  
  
  
  
to be continued… 


	3. Chapter 3

The Beast? And the Beauty? by Travaria  
  
Part 3  
  
  
  
It had been several months since what Duo had begun to refer to as 'The Incident'. Since then, nothing had happened. Nothing what so ever. Relena had just left Duo, Trowa and Wufei in the mansion with nothing to do. Relena herself had gone off to her 'summerhouse' leaving the unfortunate victims of her wrath to, well stay in the mansion and do nothing. Well they did get to know each other, and they got used to their cursed forms, but mostly they did nothing. Which got a little boring after awhile.  
  
"Argh, I am so bored!" Duo-beast exclaimed, the beast was lying on the grass in Relena's garden. Trowa and Wufei were also present, although they really couldn't lie down in their 'condition'.  
  
"Kisama Maxwell, shut up. You have been saying the same thing for the last three hours, if your so bored go do something," Wu-clock snapped, his unstable grip on his patience had long since broken.  
  
"But, there is nothing to do," Duo pouted. "I wish that stupid old Relena would just decide what she wants to do with me, this doing nothing stuff is killing me. Of course considering the way she thinks I might not want to know."  
  
"I wonder how she thinks she could use a beast to get her a boyfriend," Trowa mused. Duo snorted.  
  
"She's probably going to do something stupid like have me 'capture' her so that her dream-guy will save her and they can live happily ever after," Duo drawled sarcastically. "Or, depending on the guy, she might have me 'attack' a village or something stupid like that so that she can defeat me and the one she 'loves' will then become enraptured with her."  
  
"It really doesn't matter what she does as long as it turns us back to normal. But, no matter what she does, you can bet that she will end up the victim, its the way those onnas think," Wufei added grumpily.  
  
"I suppose you're right. I just wish that *something* would happen, and soon," Duo muttered.  
  
"Be careful what you wish for," Trowa replied enigmatically.  
  
******  
  
Relena lounged in her summerhouse, completely comfortable. The spoiled-girl had servants to wait on her hand and foot, so it was rare for her to even leave her room anymore. Relena usually spent her days resting, eating, and, of course, using her magic mirror to search for the perfect guy. After all the time she spent on the mirror, she was having a startling lack of success. She couldn't seem to find a guy that she thought would be absolutely perfect. She had decided that now that she had someone to 'help' her win over the man she loved, she could afford to be picky, and man can this girl be picky when she wants to be.  
  
"I just can't believe that I haven't found anyone that fits my idea of the perfect guy! It is such a terrible fate that I am forced to endure. How long shall it be until I find my one true love," Relena swooned dramatically before picking up the discarded mirror and continuing to search. After a few minutes Relena sighed. "I'll never find him. I'll have to live my life all alone," Relena whined. "Well except for the beast and the talking furniture, but they really don't count since they're not even human, well they're not human any more." Relena was about to hurl the mirror away in another temper tantrum when she saw something in it, or more specifically, someone.  
  
******  
  
Duo had decided to explore the entire house. Now he had explored the house multiple times before, but this time he was going everywhere, and examining everything. Trowa and Wufei were coming too, simply because there really wasn't anything else to do. They had already covered the basement, creepy dungeon and all, the first floor, and they had skipped floors 2-5 simply because Duo hated to do things in the correct order. The sixth floor was actually an attic type tower thing; it was also where Relena tended to keep all her creepy magic stuff. Wufei hadn't wanted to bring Duo into the attic because as much fun as Duo is, would you want him to mess around with creepy magic stuff? I don't think so.  
  
Duo was having far too much fun playing around with all the weird stuff Relena had hoarded in her tower/attic. Wufei was understandably worried about this and was following him around yelling at him. "Maxwell!! Put that down immediately!! Are you trying to kill us all!!" Wufei yelled, outrage written all over his little clock face.  
  
"Just chill out Wu-chan. Nothing is going to happen," Duo replied rolling his eyes at the angry clock that was attempting to knock a weird looking crystal out of his hands. The Wu-clock sputtered angrily, both at the nickname and the eye rolling.  
  
While the beast and the clock argued, Trowa was off examining things on his own. The candlestick hopped around (he had gotten very good at the hopping after the first couple of days) looking at all of the interesting things littered, in no apparent order, on the floor, walls, and shelves. The quiet former hunter found many of the objects interesting, but unlike Duo he wasn't about to tempt fate by actually touching them. Then Trowa saw it. It was a small glass table hidden in the back corner, and on the glass table there was a glass case decorated with golden designs, and under the case there was a magnificent blood-red rose that appeared to be floating of it's own power. Trowa stared at it for a few seconds, remembering what Wufei had said about the bewitched rose being the source of Relena's power.  
  
"Wufei," Trowa said, attacking the attention of the both the clock and the beast, who had been involved in a particularly violent argument before Trowa had spoken.  
  
"What is it Trowa," Wufei replied happy to not have to continue the argument, he had been losing, mainly because he was at least five feet shorter than Duo, and he didn't have hands any more.  
  
"Is this the rose that is the source of Relena's power?" Trowa asked. Wufei and Duo immediately rushed over to see what he was looking at.  
  
"I'm not sure, I've never seen the rose, Relena just told me about it. But I would guess that that is it," Wufei answered.  
  
"You mean to tell me that *that* is the source of Relena's power! A stupid rose?" Duo demanded, outraged by the indignity of it all.  
  
"Unfortunately yes," Wufei replied with a slight sigh. Duo pondered this for a bit.  
  
"I wonder what would happen if we got rid of it," Duo mused.  
  
"Don't even think about it Maxwell! That rose could be our only chance at humanity!" Wufei yelled, preparing to lunge at Duo in the event that he tried to mess with the rose.  
  
"I know that Wu-chan. I wasn't actually going to do anything to it! I was just wondering what would happen. You know, like if it would break the spell, or make Relena shrivel up like a raisin, or something like that," Duo retorted. The Wu-clock relaxed and they all went back to staring at the rose.  
  
******  
  
"I am so glad to be home," Relena sighed as she reached the door of the mansion. "No more maid service, no more breakfast in bed, no more being able to stay in bed all day long. What was I thinking! My summerhouse is much better than this dingy old place!" Relena pouted. "Oh well, I'll just set everything up and then go back to my summerhouse and wait for the results!" Instantly Relena regained her disgustingly cheerful attitude. With that Relena bounced inside, slamming the front door behind her.  
  
Up in the tower/attic the candlestick, the clock, and the beast jumped at the sound of the slamming door. They looked around, making sure that yes all three of them were still up there. Once it was established that none of them had made the noise, their minds jumped to the obvious conclusion. "Do you think that that's Relena," Duo whispered as if he was afraid that she might hear him. The other two nodded (as much as a candlestick and a clock can nod anyway). "She's probably not going to like that we're messing around with her magical stuff, is she?" Duo asked. The others shook their heads. The three of them shared a look before bolting for the stairs.  
  
"I'm home!" Relena called into the empty seeming mansion. The psychotic girl tapped her foot, waiting for a reply. After several minutes of silence she was becoming a little pissed. "I SAID I'M HOME!" the deranged female shrieked at the top of her very loud and high-pitched voice. There was the sounds of a brief scuffle from upstairs before the clock, the candlestick, and the beast tumbled (yes tumbled) down the stairs, landing in a heap at the bottom.  
  
"You bellowed," Duo muttered as he struggled to his feet.  
  
"What is the use of changing men into things if they aren't even going to be at my beck and call," Relena complained to herself.  
  
"Um hello, earth to Relena. We're here aren't we? We came as soon as you bellowed, so just settle down," Duo retorted.  
  
"But you weren't there when I got home, your supposed to be waiting for me."  
  
"Irrational onna," Wufei muttered to himself.  
  
"Look, let's just drop it, okay," Duo interjected before Wufei and Relena could get into a pissy contest. "I'm guessing that you wanted something Relena."  
  
"Of course I want something, why else would I come back here with you freaks," Relena replied. Wufei attempted  
  
to attack Relena, but Duo managed to stop him before he did it, Duo did not want to get in trouble because Wufei couldn't handle some rude comments from the brat. "Any way, I just wanted to inform you that I have found the love of my life."  
  
"That's wonderful, do we get to change back now," Duo smiled with sarcastic sweetness. Relena looked down her nose at the chestnut-furred beast.  
  
"Of course not, you have help me catch him first," Relena remarked, as if Duo was a complete idiot.  
  
"Oh of course, how could I have ever thought that you had gotten him on your own," Duo replied snidely.  
  
"And just what is that supposed to mean," Relena said.  
  
"Absolutely nothing ojosan." Duo grinned innocently.  
  
"Whatever. Anyway, I have a mission for you," Relena said.  
  
"Oh do tell, I'm dying to know what you want me to do," Duo mumbled sarcastically.  
  
"Well..." Relena began in that tone of voice that just lets you know that you are not going to like what she has to say.  
  
  
  
to be continued…. 


	4. Chapter 4

The Beast? And the Beauty? by Travaria  
  
Part 4  
  
  
  
In the small kingdom of Magaunac, which was approximately 45.2 miles from Relena's mansion (which is a long way in a time where there are no cars, planes, or Gundams), Prince Quatre was arguing with his somewhat over protective bodyguard. His somewhat stoic, quiet, stubborn, and over protective bodyguard. "Heero, you really don't have to watch me every second! I would enjoy a little time to myself every once and a while! I don't need you to follow me everywhere I go!" Quatre not so patiently explained.  
  
"Leaving would put you in danger, my mission is to protect you," Heero replied stubbornly.  
  
"Heero, we are on the palace grounds! There are guards all over the place! I am perfectly safe!"  
  
"Hn. No place is safe."  
  
Quatre almost screamed in frustration. "Listen to me, Heero. There are no assassins inside of the palace! I am perfectly safe. I won't even leave this garden; you will only be, like, 100 yards away. I will be fine"  
  
"Hn. That could leave room for failure. No," Heero said.  
  
"But nothing is going to happen," Quatre whined.  
  
"Hn."  
  
******  
  
"Come on," Relena insisted. "I'm going to show you my perfect guy."  
  
"Joy to the world," Duo muttered, following the over-enthusiastic girl to her study.  
  
Once inside Relena pulled out her mirror and motioned for Duo to watch. "Mirror, mirror, made of gold, show me the man I soon shall ho-" Relena began to chant her chosen rhyme, but Duo grabbed the mirror out of her hands before she could finish.  
  
"So that's how this thing works," Duo said examining the mirror. "Can I try?" with out waiting for an answer Duo launched into his own rhyme. "Mirror, mirror, made of glass, show me a guy with a really fine a--"  
  
"Give me that!! Never touch my mirror again!! You got that, Beast?" Relena screeched.  
  
"My name is not 'Beast' and you will not call me 'Beast!'" Duo growled.  
  
"I can call you what ever I want to call you," Relena retorted snobbishly.  
  
"Let's just get on with this, alright?" Duo ground out from between clenched teeth.  
  
"Yes, let's. Mirror, mirror, made of gold, show me the man I soon shall hold," Relena chanted smugly. The mirror fogged before clearing and showing them an image of a cobalt-eyed boy with messy dark brown hair and a stern- looking expression. He was accompanied by a shorter blonde boy who looked slightly annoyed, but still more approachable than the first boy was. "That is Heero Yuy, body guard to Prince Quatre of Magaunac. He is the man of my dreams."  
  
"That's all spiffy and everything, but what does that have to do with me?" Duo asked peevishly, the guy was actually really hot, he didn't deserve whatever fate Relena had in store for him.  
  
"Well you see, in Heero's present mentality it might be a bit hard to make him see that we were made to be together," Relena began.  
  
"That sounds more like your problem, not mine," Duo snapped.  
  
"So," Relena continued, ignoring his comment entirely. "My plan is to bring him here, so that you can loosen him up a bit."  
  
"ME?!" Duo exclaimed. "Why me!? Shouldn't you be trying to get to know him if he's *your* perfect guy?!?"  
  
"Look, Beast, I just don't have the time it would take to mold him into the correct mental state, and if I were to make a little mistake, it could destroy all my groundwork. If he gets pissed at you it won't really matter now will it," Relena replied.  
  
"What makes you think that *I* can do anything about his personality?!" Duo demanded. Relena snorted.  
  
"Oh come on, you can't think that I don't know about how *disgustingly* cheerful and friendly you act, besides you have no choice but to do what I say if you ever want you and your little friends to be free of your curses." Relena looked smug, and very satisfied with herself. Duo couldn't think of a single thing to say. "He'll be arriving soon enough, I'll make sure he gets here. He might be mad when he arrives, so I would be careful if I were you." Relena sauntered towards the door.  
  
"But," Duo stuttered. "But what will I tell him."  
  
"That's not my problem now is it? Ja ne," Relena answered cheerfully, exiting the room.  
  
******  
  
Relena was intent on getting back to her summerhouse, but she did take a small detour up to the tower/attic to get the magical object she would need to get Heero to come to her mansion. Inside, the girl rejoiced at the fact that she was on the way to domestic bliss with the most beautiful man she had ever seen. He was perfect for her in every way, well except for his whole personality. But that could be dealt with and would be dealt with. If she was really lucky Heero might even kill that annoying Duo so that she could be rid of him. A brilliant smile broke out on Relena's face as she left her mansion. All of her dreams were about to come true.  
  
********  
  
Quatre sighed, a light smile playing on his lips. He had finally lost Heero! He lay back against the trunk of the tree whose branches he was currently perched in. It felt so good to be free of his constant shadow, Heero was worse than the Magaunac guards had ever been. Quatre sighed again, if only he wasn't the sole heir to the kingdom, none of his sisters had to go through this sort of torture. But he was free, for now.  
  
"Prince Quatre, you are supposed to stay within the palace walls," Heero's, stoic voice broke through the peaceful atmosphere, shattering Quatre's feeling of freedom.  
  
"How did you find me?" Quatre pouted.  
  
"Hn. That is unimportant. Get out of that tree. We are returning to the palace at once."  
  
"Heero, could you just once trust me! I'm not made out of glass you know!"  
  
"I was not hired to trust you."  
  
"Just let me stay out a little longer! That's all I ask! I mean, nothing is going to happen!" As soon as Quatre had uttered that terrible phrase, the lines of reality seemed to blur and with a slight *pop* Quatre disappeared.  
  
  
  
to be continued…. 


	5. Chapter 5

The Beast? And the Beauty? by Travaria  
  
Part 5  
  
  
  
Quatre was disoriented. One second he had been talking to Heero, the next there was this blinding light and suddenly he appeared in this room. The room was perfectly circular and perfectly solid. There wasn't a door or a window anywhere. The only thing in the room at all was a mirror. Quatre was worried, he had no idea what happened, or where he was, or why he was there, and Heero was going to kill him. That is, if Heero ever found him.  
  
"You can't think like that, Winner. Heero is very single minded, he will not rest until he finds you," Quatre muttered to himself, still examining the room in hopes that he had missed something. "How am I going to get out of this?" Quatre continued to mutter to himself, obviously frustrated by his captive status.  
  
"I see you have arrived." Quatre whipped around, looking for the source of the disembodied voice. His eyes landed on the mirror, which now had a glowing image of a blonde girl in it, a blonde girl with really odd eyebrows.  
  
"Who are you?!? What is going on here?!?!" Quatre exclaimed, staring at the mirror in shock.  
  
"I suppose you can call me Dorothy. I am the resident of the wall mirror. I used to be in the hand mirror, but apparently I am too loud and stubborn and annoying and crude for Relena-*sama* so I was removed and placed in this stupid wall mirror. Apparently, it was my fault that she couldn't find a guy with the mirror, but if you ask me, which coincidentally no one does, the reason she can't find a guy is all of the fricking pink!! It's driving me insane!!!! Not that I wasn't already insane mind you, considering I'm trapped in a friggin' mirror!! But the pink has made it worse, sooooooo much worse!" At this point Quatre was really starting to regret asking who she was.  
  
"Umm, excuse me," Quatre tentatively interrupted. "I don't suppose you could help me?"  
  
"Oh right, help you! That is my job of course! I'm supposed to help all the poor humans with their little problems! Am I allowed to deal with my problems? No, I'm just a magical creation, we aren't supposed to have problems! We just spend all eternity helping all the poor humans with everything that goes wrong for them!! But does anyone ever help me?!? Of course not!! I'm just a magical manifestation, what problems could I have?!? I swear your entire species is made up of morons!!" Dorothy ranted. Now Quatre was really *really* sorry that he had said anything. It was too bad there was no where for him to go to get away from the crazy 'mirror- chick'.  
  
"I'm sorry that you feel that way," Quatre said in his best 'apologetic diplomat' voice. "Is there a problem that I can help you with?" The girl in the mirror looked mildly shocked.  
  
"Well actually, now that you mention it, I don't really have any problems," Dorothy replied, grinning. Quatre twitched, the normally peaceful boy felt like smashing the mirror into a billion pieces, but it could be his only way out, so he left it alone. "Well, I may not have problems, but you sure do! Man, it would totally suck to be you right now! I mean you are in so deep, and you don't even have anything to do with what's going on!" Dorothy cackled. Quatre scowled at her. "Say has anyone ever told you how cute you look when you scowl? And, because you are so adorable, I've decided to help, although I don't know how much you will appreciate it once you find out about the catch! Boy is it a terrible catch. But of course, most of Relena-sama's catches are."  
  
"Look, I really don't care about the catch, I just want to get out of here," Quatre snapped, have taken far more Dorothy than he could handle.  
  
"Just remember, you asked for it!" Dorothy crowed. "Now all you have to do is step through my mirror, Hot-Stuff. You'll come out in Relena's mansion. Unfortunately you won't be able to leave until Heero comes to rescue you."  
  
"Is that the catch? That's hardly as bad as you made it out to be," Quatre said, relaxing a bit. Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all.  
  
"Actually, no, it's not the catch, the catch is much, much worse!! But you really have no choice, so through you go!!" Dorothy exclaimed, letting out a crazed string of laughter.  
  
"Well, thank you for the inspiring words," Quatre ground out sarcastically. Dorothy didn't hear him, she was too busy laughing maniacally. Quatre sighed and stepped into the mirror.  
  
******  
  
Heero looked at the tree, then he looked at the ground, and then he looked at the tree again. He almost hoped that Quatre had fallen out of the tree, at least that would explain where the blonde had gone. But, Quatre wasn't in sight. He was just gone. Heero scowled, this was not something he was equipped to deal with. There was no trail, no clues, no suspects, no Quatre. Not that that meant that he wouldn't look for his charge, it only meant that it was going to be very, very hard to find him. Suddenly Heero heard another pop. The bodyguard looked up towards the tree fervently hoping that what ever had happened was over and that the pop meant that Quatre was back. Unfortunately that just wasn't happening. Instead Heero saw what appeared to be a floating pink envelope.  
  
"I don't think I can take much more of this," Heero growled, uncharacteristically irritated. The bodyguard snatched the envelope out of the air and stared at it a moment. He really didn't want to open it, but it might be a clue. But then again, what kind of kidnapper would give him a clue that was contained in a bright pink envelope covered in flashy pink sparkles and doused in a perfume that somehow managed to smell pink. Heero scowled at the horrendous pink thing. If it weren't a potential clue, he never would have touched it, but as it was, he had no choice. Bravely, Heero slit open the envelope and pulled out the pink stationary that lay within. The letter read:  
  
~Dear Prince Quatre's Bodyguard,  
  
Prince Quatre has been kidnapped. But there is no need to worry! I know where the poor prince is being held captive, but I do not know who has captured him, and I do not know how. I wish that I could be of more help to you! I only know that there is some kind of beast that lives there and he probably knows something. I have enclosed directions to the mansion in which I believe Prince Quatre is being held! I am so glad that I could be of some help to you!  
  
Love,  
  
Relena Peacecraft~  
  
Heero stared at the letter. He just could not believe this. First his charge just disappears, and then a disgustingly pink envelope appears out of nowhere, proclaiming to know where the blonde was. This was all ridiculous. Unfortunately, the letter was the only clue Heero had, so he was going to have to follow it. Hopefully he wouldn't run into this Relena Peacecraft though, he didn't think he could handle that on top of everything else. This really wasn't his day.  
  
  
  
to be continued…. 


	6. Chapter 6

The Beast? And the Beauty? by Travaria  
  
Part 6  
  
Quatre exited the other side of the mirror, but he felt strange for some reason, like he had been changed or something. Quatre looked around the hall that he found himself in 'Why is everything so huge?' Quatre wondered. Then with a feeling of dread the prince looked down at himself, and saw the bottom of a feather duster. The distraught prince froze in silence, for all of five seconds, before letting out a loud and extremely high-pitched scream of terror. The scream was loud for his size, and high-pitched for his normal voice. It was very disturbing. Disturbing, but understandable considering that he had just discovered that he was indeed a feather duster instead of the Crown Prince of Magaunac.  
  
Quatre almost felt like crying. Things like this just didn't happen to him. His life had been so normal; he didn't even have a godparent, much less a fairy one. He had never manifested any magical talents; he had never been cursed, or even magically blessed! His life had changed for boringly blissful normality to a thing of chaos in a single afternoon. One second he was just sitting in the tree minding his own business the next he somehow appeared in a room with the psycho mirror from hell, then he'd stepped through said mirror and been changed into a feather duster of all things. Quatre let out another of his ear-piercing screams.  
  
******  
  
Duo, Trowa, and Wufei jumped when they heard the impossible scream. They had been immersed in a little pow-wow in order to discuss exactly what they were going to do about this Heero guy, but the untimely scream had interrupted them. Duo scooped up the Tro-candle and the Wu-clock before racing down the stairs. Before he had gotten more than halfway down said stairs another scream sounded. The braided-beast continued to race towards the source of the high-pitched noise. It was lucky that he was carrying his small friends, they would have never been able to keep up with his desperate pace. The question on all of their minds was 'what on earth has happened now?'  
  
Duo skidded to a stop in the middle of the hall, right in front of Dorothy's mirror. Duo was still clutching Tro-candle in one hand, and Wu- clock in the other, they were struggling to be let down. And there, on the floor, was a small feather duster, a small feather duster that appeared to be hyperventilating and was definitely the source of the scream. The feather duster looked up at him, and his passengers, and screamed one more time, before passing out on the floor, in the middle of the hall, right in front of Dorothy's mirror. He fainted, with Duo, Wufei, and Trowa all looking down at him in confusion and apprehension.  
  
"Dorothy! What is going on!?" Duo demanded, glaring at the mirror.  
  
Dorothy calmly looked at him and replied, "Oh this and that. I'm just doing Relena-sama's business, that's all." Dorothy then proceeded to cackle evilly.  
  
"Oh boy, this can not be good. Okay Dorothy, who is the feather-duster?" Duo asked suspiciously.  
  
"Oh, him. I feel sort of bad, he was the nicest boy, but, what is done is done, and besides, he makes an adorable duster, once he stops screaming. Did you know he actually asked me if he could help me with any problems that I had. Poor naïve little idiot. I warned him about the fact that there was a catch you know. Of course I didn't tell him what he was, and the little fool just stormed through the mirror anyway. It was quite entertaining," Dorothy answered with a snicker that was as evil as her cackle.  
  
"Look Dotty, I just want you to tell me who he is!" Duo demanded, losing what little patience he had to begin with.  
  
"Well, maybe I won't tell you! I refuse to answer to the horrid name of 'Dotty'," Dorothy sneered. "You are going to have an awfully hard time trying to make it up to me you know! Especially since you can't really give me any gifts to say you're sorry since I am in a mirror and what ever you could get wouldn't be able to enter. I might let you know if you refer to me as 'Dorothy, the great Goddess of War, Contention, and Aggravation. Commander of all the 'Mirror Lands' and the most beautiful woman to ever grace the presence of you puny mortals'!" Dorothy crowed, very pleased with her idea.  
  
"How about you just tell me before I use Trowa to smash you into a million pieces?" Duo replied with a 'friendly' grin.  
  
Dorothy pouted and tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder before answering Duo. "You, my good beast Duo, are absolutely no fun at all. Well, I suppose that I will tell you, since it means so much to you. That adorable little feather duster is none other than Prince Quatre of Magaunac, the ward of Relena-sama's current obsession, one Heero Yuy. In other words, you boys have quite a problem on your hands. Well, I must be going, Ja!" With that, and a jaunty wave Dorothy disappeared into the depths of her mirror.  
  
Duo stared at the now empty mirror incredulously. "You have got to be kidding me!" Trowa and Wufei, who had been listening attentively through out the entire conversation we likewise shocked and dismayed. "Exactly what does she think turning him into a feather-duster is going to do anyway! This is ridiculous!" Duo threw his paws into the air in a gesture of disgust/hopelessness. "Well guys, I guess we might as well head back upstairs, we'll bring the prince with us." With that said Duo scooped the clock, candlestick, and feather duster into his paws and headed back to the room they were in before.  
  
******  
  
Quatre awakened slowly, he groaned and yawned. The Prince opened his eyes and looked around at where he was, someone had placed him in a room that he had never seen before. Quatre attempted to sit up, and was once again confronted with the fact that he was indeed a feather duster. Everything that had happened in the last few hours came flooding back to him and he calmly laid back down, before shooting up and glancing around himself in alarm. There had been a gigantic beast! Or, had he imagined at least that part of this odd day? Quatre became aware of the sound of voices talking; they appeared to be coming from a barely open door at the other side of the room he was in. Now that Quatre had recovered partly from the shock of his ordeal logic took over, so he went to see what he could find out about the voices. The daring little Quatre-duster made a daring leap off the bed and onto the floor, the floor was of course only about three feet lower than the top of the bed, but of course Quatre was now less than a foot tall so the leap was very daring.  
  
Quatre then sort of swept his way over to the door; he was coping marvelously with his lack of legs. The closer Quatre got to the door, the clearer the voices became. The Prince could identify three separate voices, however he was unable to make out exactly what the voices were saying. Quatre carefully approached the slightly ajar door and peeked through the crack. What he saw almost caused him to faint, again. Inside the next room was the beast he saw just before he passed out the last time, and said beast appeared to be having some kind of a discussion with a talking clock and a talking candle-stick. On second thought, the beast appeared to be having an argument with the clock and candlestick. 'Of course, this al makes perfect sense,' Quatre thought faintly. 'I mean if I can talk it only makes sense that the clocks and candlesticks can talk, I mean, it's only logical.' Perhaps Quatre was a little more hysterical than we previously thought. The flustered feather duster took several deep 'calming' breaths, they didn't work very well. 'Get a hold of yourself Winner,' Quatre mentally lectured. 'You can handle this, you can! Just calm down. If the beast was going to harm me he would have already, so it is likely that I am perfectly safe. I might as well go in and attempt to talk to them. They have the only answers that I'm going to get.' Steeling himself Quatre pushed open the door as best he could and squeezed through into the other room. All conversation stopped and all three of them turned and stared straight at him. Quatre suddenly felt that perhaps it would have been better if he had thought this out more before he had leapt into action.  
  
******  
  
Heero raced on. His horse was exhausted, but that wasn't new. This was the fourth horse he had gone through since he had started his journey towards the place the letter told him Prince Quatre was. Every time one horse grew too exhausted to go on Heero would stop at the nearest place that had a horse and trade his for theirs. If they were less than willing to part with their animal Heero, persuaded, them luckily they were all willing to take the money and Heero wasn't forced to use actual *force* against them. The young bodyguard was in a terrible rush, especially since the King wasn't exactly aware of the situation. Heero had not wished to destroy his reputation with far-fetched tales of magic stealing the Prince away, so he had merely barked out to the nearest guard that he and the Prince were going on a trip and they would return later. The King was sure to be furious, but that couldn't be helped. The best thing for Heero to do was to get the Prince back as soon as possible so that no one would suspect that Quatre was actually missing. And so, Heero raced on.  
  
to be continued… 


End file.
